Today you will not find what you expect: nabla no longer has the serenity to think. The emotions have taken over. I wanted to disappear for a while ', the time of return ad be clear, the time to figure out what is wrong.
Too many times I have built through hard work and all too often it is destroyed by a gust of wind.

Move forward still looking back, observe the rubble of buildings that had built with so much effort, desire, determination and sacrifice: They turn and remain only heaps of dust. What's wrong? because every time I have to start over boss?

They say that only the intentions are perfect: all the mistakes I made, I made always believing they were doing the right thing, credendo che quella boat navigasse sulla rotta delle mie intenzioni. Instead I realize that, often, I was wrong route without realizing it. Now I have a compass that I can trust and I do not know what is the route to be taken. A sense of helplessness comes over me. I feel like a castaway at the mercy of a Doom, a storm. When he did return calm? In which island will land?

And in my head a mess: And if I? And if that day…? Unwittingly it back to you in mind all errors, the choices probably wrong, maybe just different.

Years in home to study with little money, many waivers, aunt hopes, tanti dreams, really want to do, of emergence, to leave something: observe all these helpless dreams that vanish, pass and will no longer come back. Maybe I did not give enough. Maybe it was just bad luck. Maybe it was not what I wanted. Who knows?

Unfortunately I can not blame anyone or anything: the responsibility is mine and mine alone.

I was already a burden for many years for my family, still they are in part. If the money is not there, what to do?
Go away with anxiety ... and then come back because you did ... another defeat ...

Then still want to share, to search, sacrifice and instead you find yourself at the starting point.

and then, you know those times when everything seems to go wrong: here is a classic that the person you had next to you yesterday dropouts, perhaps because lei no longer believe in you: perhaps because there had never believed.

And there too many good intentions, really want to amare, build, to do something important but everything vanishes, no longer remains anything, as the spray of a huge wave that shattered on a rock.

Now, now it's time to move on, again building, to take that breath that allows you to go in apnea in the rock and then re-emerge in a more sea beautiful.

a sea beautiful last edit: Thursday,19 April 13:45, 2007 the nabladue
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